Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Proven Secrets to Making Your Marriage Last

Remember the honeymoon stage of your marriage, when it seemed that your spouse could do no wrong? That state of bliss - while it may not last forever - can become the hallmark of your relationship, with just a little bit of effort.

I'm going to reveal to you three things that can make or break your relationship, explain what you can do to make your marriage a blessing instead of a curse, and how to make small changes that have a big impact.

Secret #1: Listen to Each Other

Communication may very well be the number one ingredient in making your marriage last. Without it, there's not much of a relationship. It involves not just acknowledging what the other person said, but listening to your spouse. Now, I didn't say "hearing" what the other person said, which involves the ability to repeat the words that came from your spouse's lips.

Listening means actually being plugged in to the conversation and interacting with your spouse. A characteristic of those that listen to each other includes asking follow-up questions that clarify or dig deeper on the particular topic of your discussion.

Secret #2: Admit When You're Wrong

At today's hurried pace, everyone has their own career and life; people seem to be set on making things happen, often with little concern for others. That may be true in your marriage, as well.

Being able to admit WHEN, not IF, you're wrong to your spouse can be a technique that helps to keep the peace. This is another key ingredient for a successful marriage, the ability to admit fault, or when you've made a mistake.

And, men, that goes beyond just admitting you're lost and asking for directions.

If you're stubborn and always think you're right, then, by default your spouse is always wrong. When you humble yourself and confess that you do have faults, make mistakes, and apologize when and where appropriate, you set the precedent for a gracious relationship that honors and respects each other.

Secret #3: Seek to Meet Your Spouse's Needs

The next key ingredient to making your marriage last is to seek to meet your spouse's needs. So often in a relationship, each spouse is looking to the other to get his or her needs met. Though it may seem counter cultural or it may go against your instinct, make the effort to go from selfish to selfless.

You may want to try not putting the emphasis on what your spouse can do for you. Instead, consider what you can do for your husband or wife and then act on the specific ways you can meet his or her needs.

Marriages that are encouraging and nurturing often have spouses that put the other's needs before their own. That doesn't mean you have to be a doormat, obviously. But when your behavior and words make it clear to your partner that their needs and concerns are top priority to you, a great dynamic comes into play.

You find your own needs getting met, naturally. Now, wouldn't this be an effective tool for your marriage? Granted, it will take a bit of work, especially if you're used to you being the #1 customer, so to speak.

Secrets to having a successful marriage, one that is a blessing and not a curse, are not nearly as complex as you would think.

Listening to each other, the ability to admit when you're wrong, and seeking to meet your spouse's needs - while not rocket science - are key ingredients, that, when practiced regularly, can go a long way toward making even the most hopeless relationships both rewarding and wonderful.

By the way, if you want to learn the secrets to getting your marriage back on track, step-by-step, download my free course at http://www.stepstosavemymarriage.com. For a limited time - you can download your course - which will reveal the secret proven plan for fixing your marriage.

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