How to Find Freedom in an Unfair Marriage When There Are No Feelings Left

Anger. Bitterness. Resentment. Frustration.

These are all emotions that are commonplace in a marriage where one or both partners feel that their needs are not being met.

You may feel that your spouse never listens to what you have to say. You may not even talk to your spouse that often, much less get along. Discover three steps you can take to restore the balance in your relationship, where there are few feelings left that you're fond of.

Step 1: Try not to retaliate.

While not the best course of action, some spouses decide to give the other the silent treatment to punish them for their words or actions. The spouse who is giving the silent treatment believes that they are entitled to this type of retribution sometimes because it's the only thing they can do to retaliate.

Since these types of couples rarely communicate and when and if they do, there are only shouting matches or one-sided interactions, doing something back to hurt the other may seem like the most natural thing to do. So, stop the silent treatment or anything else you're inclined to do to get your spouse back. Instead, communicate.

Step 2: Communicate your feelings.

By communicating I mean doing it in such a way that your wife or husband can actually receive it. When one or both of you is angry or in the midst of something that's negatively affecting you, that time is not the time to say something. If you were to express yourself then, your spouse could not receive it.

Instead, choose to withdraw yourself from the interaction, by saying, "I'd like to talk about this later, but am not in the frame of mind to do it now." Then, come back together and continue what had taken place previously when you're both no longer caught up in the middle of it. Choosing to do this will ensure that your spouse actually listens, as opposed to defending his or her position. It also allows for both of you to remain more objective.

Step 3: Release the results.

This is part of removing yourself from the equation. Sure, you want to resolve the situation your way. Or, you want to make sure that if you don't get your way that your partner knows how unhappy you are with how it went. Neither way is the best way to go if you're striving for a healthy relationship. Accept that you're not always going to get your way.

Life sometimes isn't fair. Letting go or releasing how you want something to turn out may be the very thing you need to do. Your spouse may then let go of trying to be right or get his or her way, and you may find that you get what you wanted all along. If that doesn't happen, you might realize that you no longer harbor nearly as many negative emotions regarding your spouse.

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