Proven Secrets to Making Your Marriage Last

Remember the honeymoon stage of your marriage, when it seemed that your spouse could do no wrong? That state of bliss - while it may not last forever - can become the hallmark of your relationship, with just a little bit of effort.

I'm going to reveal to you three things that can make or break your relationship, explain what you can do to make your marriage a blessing instead of a curse, and how to make small changes that have a big impact.

Secret #1: Listen to Each Other

Communication may very well be the number one ingredient in making your marriage last. Without it, there's not much of a relationship. It involves not just acknowledging what the other person said, but listening to your spouse. Now, I didn't say "hearing" what the other person said, which involves the ability to repeat the words that came from your spouse's lips.

Listening means actually being plugged in to the conversation and interacting with your spouse. A characteristic of those that listen to each other includes asking follow-up questions that clarify or dig deeper on the particular topic of your discussion.

Secret #2: Admit When You're Wrong

At today's hurried pace, everyone has their own career and life; people seem to be set on making things happen, often with little concern for others. That may be true in your marriage, as well.

Being able to admit WHEN, not IF, you're wrong to your spouse can be a technique that helps to keep the peace. This is another key ingredient for a successful marriage, the ability to admit fault, or when you've made a mistake.

And, men, that goes beyond just admitting you're lost and asking for directions.

If you're stubborn and always think you're right, then, by default your spouse is always wrong. When you humble yourself and confess that you do have faults, make mistakes, and apologize when and where appropriate, you set the precedent for a gracious relationship that honors and respects each other.

Secret #3: Seek to Meet Your Spouse's Needs

The next key ingredient to making your marriage last is to seek to meet your spouse's needs. So often in a relationship, each spouse is looking to the other to get his or her needs met. Though it may seem counter cultural or it may go against your instinct, make the effort to go from selfish to selfless.

You may want to try not putting the emphasis on what your spouse can do for you. Instead, consider what you can do for your husband or wife and then act on the specific ways you can meet his or her needs.

Marriages that are encouraging and nurturing often have spouses that put the other's needs before their own. That doesn't mean you have to be a doormat, obviously. But when your behavior and words make it clear to your partner that their needs and concerns are top priority to you, a great dynamic comes into play.

You find your own needs getting met, naturally. Now, wouldn't this be an effective tool for your marriage? Granted, it will take a bit of work, especially if you're used to you being the #1 customer, so to speak.

Secrets to having a successful marriage, one that is a blessing and not a curse, are not nearly as complex as you would think.

Listening to each other, the ability to admit when you're wrong, and seeking to meet your spouse's needs - while not rocket science - are key ingredients, that, when practiced regularly, can go a long way toward making even the most hopeless relationships both rewarding and wonderful.

By the way, if you want to learn the secrets to getting your marriage back on track, step-by-step, download my free course at http://www.stepstosavemymarriage.com. For a limited time - you can download your course - which will reveal the secret proven plan for fixing your marriage.

Eliminating Tension in Marriage: Tips For Winning the War Without Firing a Shot

There are always times in marriage where you're not only profoundly disappointed but deeply hurt. You may see your marriage as a battleground, where you and your spouse are armed combatants who routinely engage in conflicts that have long-lasting negative consequences.

Sometimes, you just can't avoid being hurt. When those times occur, there are certain things you can do to win the war behind the scenes, without firing a single shot. And no, I don't meet something that ends in a hollow victory.

If your spouse has hurt you, whether in words or in deeds, you don't have to strike back; it's your choice. When you decide not to retaliate, you'll dissipate the bitterness, resentment or negative interactions that your relationship has been exposed to in the past.

Instead, here are a few suggestions for how you can take care of you when that happens. And before you write these off, consider carefully how far you could go in maintaining a peaceful marriage if you implement just one of them on a regular basis.

Take a hot bath or shower.

This first idea may not seem to be anything earth shattering. What we're trying to accomplish here is to remove you from the scene of the crime before it happens. By that I mean that you could choose to withdraw from an argument or conflict before you say or do something hurtful to your spouse.

When you jump in the shower or take a hot bath, you've not only removed yourself from the situation, but you are giving yourself the gift of relaxation after an otherwise stressful or anxiety-inducing interaction with your spouse. You will then be able to let your anger simmer down so that you can think clearly and decide what to do or think next.

Blow off steam by working out.

A step removed from the shower idea is to leave the house entirely. Don't do it in a huff, by slamming doors or going off half-cocked, simply gather your things and head to the gym for a workout.

Whether you spend 20 minutes on the treadmill or an hour pumping weights, you'll be able to channel your anger or frustration into something productive: working out. This will likely cause your negative emotions to dissipate and putting you in a better frame of mind for when you see your spouse again at home.

Talk to a friend you can trust for feedback or insight.

If you're really bothered by what happened between you and your spouse, and you don't feel like a hot bath or going to the gym, get out of the house to meet a friend. Or at least go someplace where you can't be bothered and call someone you can trust on the phone.

Hopefully that friend is someone special who can just listen, and hear your heart. Perhaps you want to get their feedback or insight or see what they would do in this situation if your friend was in your place.

Part of the solution is to simply get yourself into a calmer state of mind so you can think more clearly and become a better communicator. Remember, you spouse is not your enemy.

Stressed out by your marriage? Discover the secrets to getting your marriage back on track with my proven step-by-step system at http://www.stepstosavemymarriage.net. Download your free course today - where you'll find the secret proven plan for fixing your marriage - and put your anxiety behind you.

Simple Steps to Sanity: How to Deal With a Controlling Spouse When All You Want to Do is Scream

A healthy marriage involves a couple who comes together as one, but retain their independent identities in the context of a unified relationship.

Unfortunately, in an unhealthy relationship, usually the stronger partner dominates, and can often rule the marriage, sometimes with an iron fist. This can cause bitterness, anger, and resentment on the part of the less-dominant spouse, which can result in division. However, the problem may never come to the surface because they're less likely to say anything to maintain the peace.

If you're tired of being pushed around in your relationship and would love to know what to do about it, I've got answers for you.

Here are three things you can start doing today to assert yourself and deal with a controlling spouse.

• Don't stay silent: express yourself appropriately.

No one I know likes to be controlled or manipulated. You may feel that your opinion never gets expressed, that your spouse never listens, and your needs are so far from getting met that you wonder why you're still a part of your marriage.

Now is the time for you to start standing up for yourself. This may not be comfortable for you, especially if your spouse is domineering and believes that his or her way is the right way or the highway. They're never wrong, in their opinion, but you know better. Start by telling your spouse how you feel about a situation.

You may have to be bold and express your disagreement about something. You may need to pass on how you feel and let your wife or husband deal with it. Either way, don't stay silent.

• Refuse to be bullied or manipulated.

Your spouse may not react well to you being assertive or expressing yourself, but again, hold your ground. If you need to, restate your feelings or opinion. Don't allow them to bully you or attempt to shame you into doing what they want. Refuse to give up.

Perhaps you'll need to say to your spouse, "I don't think I'm making myself clear," or "Here's what I mean." This will go far in changing the dynamic of your relationship and give you a better chance for getting what you want.

• Allow for some give and take when needed.

In a healthy relationship, neither spouse always gets what he or she wants. There is always give and take. One night you can watch the kids, another night, your spouse will take on that responsibility. That's the way it's supposed to work.

If your relationship has been largely lopsided, where you've done one thing and one thing only-what your spouse wants, that definitely needs to change. Don't be afraid to compromise, by agreeing to do what your spouse wants now, in exchange for doing what you want to do later. Then when, later comes, make sure to remind your partner of your previous agreement.

Discover the secrets to getting your marriage back on track with my proven step-by-step system at www.stepstosavemymarriage.net. These secrets won't be available forever - download your course today absolutely free - to learn the secret for fixing your marriage.

The Particularly Passionate, Truly Tasteful Married Couple's Guide to the Bedroom

Your behavior outside the bedroom may have more of an influence on your relationship than you would expect.

What I mean is, if you take a more holistic view of sex - mainly, that sex begins in the kitchen or when you build intimacy in ways other than sex - you may very well find yourself being rewarded beyond your wildest imagination. This article will discuss three DO's and DON'Ts for sexually satisfied couples.

Don't: always begin with sex.

Do: be open to sex in the kitchen.

Sex begins in the kitchen, as they say. What that means is that when you focus on your relationship outside the bedroom by developing a meaningful non-sexual bond first, having a great sexual relationship should naturally follow.

How can you meet your wife's needs outside the bedroom?

Listening to what she has to say, expressing caring concern, and communicating that you love her come to mind. And how about your husband? Men need to know they're respected. However, the quickest way to a man's heart may very well be through sexual acts. We seem to be quick to forgive and forget when we're satisfied in a sexual manner.

Don't: just focus on you.

Do: be sensitive.

You may want to start slowly by warming up to each other first. Take time to talk or kiss. Keep in mind that men are usually like microwaves (fast cooking) and women, crockpots (slow cookers), and you should be alright. Be careful not to always try to sway your spouse to how you'd prefer to do things in the bedroom.

Instead, try things his or her way at times, then try it the way you like it at other times. While some partners may relish the physical act of sex itself along with the self-gratifying end result, sharing sexual intimacy where both partners are mutually satisfied is far more intimate.

Don't: be demanding.

Do: be realistic.

While guys wouldn't mind having sex every day (or several times each day, for that matter), women tend to need it far less. Maybe this is true in your marriage, maybe not. Whatever is realistic for your relationship, be reasonable.

Perhaps each week you could set aside a date night where you are both physically and emotionally intimate, a plan that would involve meeting the needs of both spouses. Though this may be hard to do - with children around - it's not impossible. Be creative.

Discover the secrets to getting your marriage back on track with my proven step-by-step system at www.stepstosavemymarriage.net. These secrets won't be available forever - download your course today absolutely free - to learn the secret for fixing your marriage.

3 Keys to Her Heart: How to Break Through the Barriers When All Hope Seems Lost

Your marriage is over and there's little, if any, hope of reconciliation, at least as far as your spouse is concerned.

Yet, whatever has gone on in the past, chances are you can overcome it, if you follow my three C's of recovering your relationship: commitment, communication, and consistency.

By and large, men have short attention spans, especially when it comes to commitment. If they can't get something, say a chainsaw, to work, they'll try what they know to fix it, then move on to something else.

While relationships are a far cry from electric power tools in desperate need of repair, sometimes you can take that same approach to your wife. You don't know what to do to "fix it," and you just get more and more frustrated trying, so you eventually give up.

Whether you're separated, not on speaking terms, or suffering from the average tension present in most marriages, tell your wife you're absolutely committed to making your relationship work, no matter what.

Then, get to work. See a counselor, get outside help, do whatever it takes, and no matter how tough it gets, don't give up. When she sees the evidence that you're really, truly trying, perhaps she'll come around as well.

Another key to your wife's heart is communication, or more specifically, listening.

While not every guy is like Tim "the tool man" Taylor responding to questions with short grunts or nods, and is otherwise silent - women want more. They want to share how their day went, talk about their feelings, plan the future, you get the idea.

And you? You just want to finish watching the ballgame. Actively listening to your wife will help her realize that she (and thus your relationship) is very important to her.

So, when you pause for a commercial break, tell her that you really want to give her your full attention and talk in depth after the game. Better yet, stop what you're doing, record the rest of the game and talk right then and there.

Beware that a few isolated instances of behavioral change may do more harm than good, so you'll want to make a permanent habit of whatever changes you choose to implement.

Despite the rocky road of your marital past, being consistent in your actions could eventually make a believer out of your wife, and may cause her to rethink getting separated or divorced.

Without consistency, as far as she's concerned, you've got a couple of behavioral anomalies that may have been just flukes, as opposed to positive signs of renewed life.

In order to obtain the keys to your wife's heart and begin the healing process in your marriage, try these three things:

1. make a commitment to get your marriage back on track
2. actively communicate
3. be consistent in your actions

Sure, you've hurt each other. However, when you persevere in your application of the 3 C's to recovering your relationship, you may just see it turn around at a time you never though it possible.

Discover the secrets to getting your marriage back on track with my proven step-by-step system at www.stepstosavemymarriage.com. These secrets won't be available forever - download your course today absolutely free - to learn the secret for fixing your marriage.

3 Terrible Truths About Divorce Revealed and Why Divorce Could Ruin Your Chance For True Happiness

Divorce these days is really no big deal.

If things aren't working, the common mantra goes, why bother trying to work it out? There's always someone else.

That mentality, however, is absolutely detrimental to remaining fulfilled in your current marriage. Discover the three truths about why divorcing maybe really isn't in your best interest (unless it's an abusive relationship), and why it makes more sense to remain in your marriage.

Truth #1: You've got a better chance for happiness right where you're at.

The divorce rate in the United States is horribly high at 50% or more for "first timers," something you may already know. What you may not be familiar with is that the numbers seem to tell us that your best chance for happiness lies in your current relationship or your first marriage.

If you're determined to end it, know that the odds are stacked against you, statistically speaking. Those who try to find that elusive happiness in marriage number two or three are even worse off, having far less chance of success. Of those who get married a second time, almost 70% end in divorce, while third marriages fare even worse, with a divorce rate at almost 75%.

Truth #2: When you commit to your marriage and seek to improve it, you will likely see fruit.

Do you know if it will all be worth it if you decide to save your marriage? Probably not for sure. But, my guess is that no matter what happens, you'll be glad you made the effort. So, my encouragement to you: stay put and get to work. Focus on what changes you, personally, can make to yourself so that you grow as a person. Stop blaming and trying to get your spouse to change into the person you want him or her to be.

When you focus on the things you can control (or change) in your marriage, you'll stop being critical of complaining about those things that your spouse needs to change. While there are no guarantees in life, taking this approach can do wonders in healing your marriage and getting back together. Put in a little effort, resolve to stay together despite your emotions or circumstances, and you will see the fruit of your efforts, perhaps sooner than later.

Truth #3: You probably won't find someone better if you divorce.

Common sense would suggest that you move on if you're marriage is a big failure. Yet, the grass is actually NOT always greener, just on the other side of the hill, despite what Hollywood would have us believe. Why bother with your current relationship since you're so unhappy? There are plenty of fish in the sea, so why not go fishing?

The answer to that age-old question is because going fishing to find a better catch will likely result in another failed relationship. Not just because statistics are against you, but because you're part of the equation. You'll bring the issues you failed to resolve in your old relationship into your new one. That's because you've still got the same hang-ups, weaknesses, and character faults that caused you problems in the first place.

Giving up on your marriage by deciding on divorce is not only hazardous to your relationship, but may also be a deadly choice. Here are 3 truths about why you may want to hang on to your marriage:

1. If you push through your issues and commit to your marriage, you could obtain the happiness you desire. When attempting a second or third chance at happiness through marriage, you're bound to fail.
2. Investing in improving your marriage has benefits; you'll likely see the fruits of your labor. Happiness in your second marriage may not be a likely prospect, because you've still got your same issues.
3. It's an illusion that the grass is greener anywhere but your front yard. Try getting the fire burning again with your spouse. If you do, you'll be much less interested in your neighbor's lawn.

By the way, if you want to learn the secrets to getting your marriage back on track, step-by-step, download my free course at http://www.stepstosavemymarriage.com. For a limited time - you can download your course - which will reveal the secret proven plan for fixing your marriage.

How to Find Freedom in an Unfair Marriage When There Are No Feelings Left

Anger. Bitterness. Resentment. Frustration.

These are all emotions that are commonplace in a marriage where one or both partners feel that their needs are not being met.

You may feel that your spouse never listens to what you have to say. You may not even talk to your spouse that often, much less get along. Discover three steps you can take to restore the balance in your relationship, where there are few feelings left that you're fond of.

Step 1: Try not to retaliate.

While not the best course of action, some spouses decide to give the other the silent treatment to punish them for their words or actions. The spouse who is giving the silent treatment believes that they are entitled to this type of retribution sometimes because it's the only thing they can do to retaliate.

Since these types of couples rarely communicate and when and if they do, there are only shouting matches or one-sided interactions, doing something back to hurt the other may seem like the most natural thing to do. So, stop the silent treatment or anything else you're inclined to do to get your spouse back. Instead, communicate.

Step 2: Communicate your feelings.

By communicating I mean doing it in such a way that your wife or husband can actually receive it. When one or both of you is angry or in the midst of something that's negatively affecting you, that time is not the time to say something. If you were to express yourself then, your spouse could not receive it.

Instead, choose to withdraw yourself from the interaction, by saying, "I'd like to talk about this later, but am not in the frame of mind to do it now." Then, come back together and continue what had taken place previously when you're both no longer caught up in the middle of it. Choosing to do this will ensure that your spouse actually listens, as opposed to defending his or her position. It also allows for both of you to remain more objective.

Step 3: Release the results.

This is part of removing yourself from the equation. Sure, you want to resolve the situation your way. Or, you want to make sure that if you don't get your way that your partner knows how unhappy you are with how it went. Neither way is the best way to go if you're striving for a healthy relationship. Accept that you're not always going to get your way.

Life sometimes isn't fair. Letting go or releasing how you want something to turn out may be the very thing you need to do. Your spouse may then let go of trying to be right or get his or her way, and you may find that you get what you wanted all along. If that doesn't happen, you might realize that you no longer harbor nearly as many negative emotions regarding your spouse.

By the way, if you want to learn the secrets to getting your marriage back on track, step-by-step, download my free course at http://www.stepstosavemymarriage.net. For a limited time - you can download your course - which will reveal the secret proven plan for fixing your marriage.

For Women Only: How to Turn Up the Heat in Your Marriage Without Getting Burned

Even the best marriages can be better. Why not yours?

Whether your desire is to re-ignite the flame that seems to be burning dimly, if at all, or you want to add even more spice than you've got already, I have several suggestions that may put that sparkle back into your man's life, one day at a time. Your mission, when it comes to turning up the heat in your marriage, is to try several things to get that fire burning all over again.

• First up, go traditional, even if you're not much good in the kitchen.
  

By that I mean preparing a romantic candlelight dinner of one of his favorite meals. Go overboard. Get out the fancy china and silverware reserved for company, and do it up right. You want to make it something really special, so that he knows he's the center of attention.

If you're not into cooking, purchase dinner at his favorite restaurant and transfer the dishes to your finest china. For dessert, give him you. That's right, you. Be the sweet he's always wanted to indulge in. Perhaps you can provocatively dress in only your kitchen apron so that he knows what he's got to look forward to later.

• Help him relax by surprising him with a hot bath when he gets home.
  

If your husband is a workaholic and you sometimes think he's more married to his job than you, try this one. Have a hot bath ready for him when he gets home. Make sure to put in your favorite scented bath gel and have massage oil ready on the side. If you feel led, give him a back massage that may lead to other things once he's been rejuvenated.

• Next up, try greeting your hubby at the door in his favorite lingerie.

With this one, there won't be any guessing as to what your intentions are. He may be very pleasantly surprised at your efforts, and you may be amazed that his tiredness from a long day at the office is somehow magically transformed into boundless energy.

• Play it low key by getting away for a weekend together.
  

You may instead want to play it low key, especially if you see your marriage as lacking in the intimacy department. Your final mission is to go on a mini-vacation. Get away for the weekend together where you can both relax.

You can even go as far as to pack for your husband, keeping your special destination secret, but make sure to leave your expectations or demands behind you at home. Just go to enjoy each other's company and nothing else. Make sure to plan ahead to make the appropriate reservations on a weekend where he's not already called into work.

While there are no guarantees, chances are that preparing a romantic candlelight dinner, greeting him at the door in his favorite lingerie, having a hot bath ready for him after work, or arranging a relaxing weekend away together could go a long way in rekindling your marriage.

I've given you four simple suggestions for re-igniting the flame in your marriage.

But don't stop there; be creative and add your own ideas to the mix. Do what works for you, whatever that is. But do something. Then watch and wonder at where your relationship goes when you turn up the heat.

By the way, if you want to learn the secrets to getting your marriage back on track, step-by-step, download my free course at http://www.stepstosavemymarriage.com. For a limited time - you can download your course - which will reveal the secret proven plan for fixing your marriage.