Your behavior outside the bedroom may have more of an influence on your relationship than you would expect.
What I mean is, if you take a more holistic view of sex - mainly, that sex begins in the kitchen or when you build intimacy in ways other than sex - you may very well find yourself being rewarded beyond your wildest imagination. This article will discuss three DO's and DON'Ts for sexually satisfied couples.
Don't: always begin with sex.
Do: be open to sex in the kitchen.
Sex begins in the kitchen, as they say. What that means is that when you focus on your relationship outside the bedroom by developing a meaningful non-sexual bond first, having a great sexual relationship should naturally follow.
How can you meet your wife's needs outside the bedroom?
Listening to what she has to say, expressing caring concern, and communicating that you love her come to mind. And how about your husband? Men need to know they're respected. However, the quickest way to a man's heart may very well be through sexual acts. We seem to be quick to forgive and forget when we're satisfied in a sexual manner.
Don't: just focus on you.
Do: be sensitive.
You may want to start slowly by warming up to each other first. Take time to talk or kiss. Keep in mind that men are usually like microwaves (fast cooking) and women, crockpots (slow cookers), and you should be alright. Be careful not to always try to sway your spouse to how you'd prefer to do things in the bedroom.
Instead, try things his or her way at times, then try it the way you like it at other times. While some partners may relish the physical act of sex itself along with the self-gratifying end result, sharing sexual intimacy where both partners are mutually satisfied is far more intimate.
Don't: be demanding.
Do: be realistic.
While guys wouldn't mind having sex every day (or several times each day, for that matter), women tend to need it far less. Maybe this is true in your marriage, maybe not. Whatever is realistic for your relationship, be reasonable.
Perhaps each week you could set aside a date night where you are both physically and emotionally intimate, a plan that would involve meeting the needs of both spouses. Though this may be hard to do - with children around - it's not impossible. Be creative.
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