Friday, April 9, 2010

3 Terrible Truths About Divorce Revealed and Why Divorce Could Ruin Your Chance For True Happiness

Divorce these days is really no big deal.

If things aren't working, the common mantra goes, why bother trying to work it out? There's always someone else.

That mentality, however, is absolutely detrimental to remaining fulfilled in your current marriage. Discover the three truths about why divorcing maybe really isn't in your best interest (unless it's an abusive relationship), and why it makes more sense to remain in your marriage.

Truth #1: You've got a better chance for happiness right where you're at.

The divorce rate in the United States is horribly high at 50% or more for "first timers," something you may already know. What you may not be familiar with is that the numbers seem to tell us that your best chance for happiness lies in your current relationship or your first marriage.

If you're determined to end it, know that the odds are stacked against you, statistically speaking. Those who try to find that elusive happiness in marriage number two or three are even worse off, having far less chance of success. Of those who get married a second time, almost 70% end in divorce, while third marriages fare even worse, with a divorce rate at almost 75%.

Truth #2: When you commit to your marriage and seek to improve it, you will likely see fruit.

Do you know if it will all be worth it if you decide to save your marriage? Probably not for sure. But, my guess is that no matter what happens, you'll be glad you made the effort. So, my encouragement to you: stay put and get to work. Focus on what changes you, personally, can make to yourself so that you grow as a person. Stop blaming and trying to get your spouse to change into the person you want him or her to be.

When you focus on the things you can control (or change) in your marriage, you'll stop being critical of complaining about those things that your spouse needs to change. While there are no guarantees in life, taking this approach can do wonders in healing your marriage and getting back together. Put in a little effort, resolve to stay together despite your emotions or circumstances, and you will see the fruit of your efforts, perhaps sooner than later.

Truth #3: You probably won't find someone better if you divorce.

Common sense would suggest that you move on if you're marriage is a big failure. Yet, the grass is actually NOT always greener, just on the other side of the hill, despite what Hollywood would have us believe. Why bother with your current relationship since you're so unhappy? There are plenty of fish in the sea, so why not go fishing?

The answer to that age-old question is because going fishing to find a better catch will likely result in another failed relationship. Not just because statistics are against you, but because you're part of the equation. You'll bring the issues you failed to resolve in your old relationship into your new one. That's because you've still got the same hang-ups, weaknesses, and character faults that caused you problems in the first place.

Giving up on your marriage by deciding on divorce is not only hazardous to your relationship, but may also be a deadly choice. Here are 3 truths about why you may want to hang on to your marriage:

  1. If you push through your issues and commit to your marriage, you could obtain the happiness you desire. When attempting a second or third chance at happiness through marriage, you're bound to fail.
  2. Investing in improving your marriage has benefits; you'll likely see the fruits of your labor. Happiness in your second marriage may not be a likely prospect, because you've still got your same issues.
  3. It's an illusion that the grass is greener anywhere but your front yard. Try getting the fire burning again with your spouse. If you do, you'll be much less interested in your neighbor's lawn.

By the way, if you want to learn the secrets to getting your marriage back on track, step-by-step, download my free course at http://www.stepstosavemymarriage.com. For a limited time - you can download your course - which will reveal the secret proven plan for fixing your marriage.

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