There are always times in marriage where you're not only profoundly disappointed but deeply hurt. You may see your marriage as a battleground, where you and your spouse are armed combatants who routinely engage in conflicts that have long-lasting negative consequences.
Sometimes, you just can't avoid being hurt. When those times occur, there are certain things you can do to win the war behind the scenes, without firing a single shot. And no, I don't meet something that ends in a hollow victory.
If your spouse has hurt you, whether in words or in deeds, you don't have to strike back; it's your choice. When you decide not to retaliate, you'll dissipate the bitterness, resentment or negative interactions that your relationship has been exposed to in the past.
Instead, here are a few suggestions for how you can take care of you when that happens. And before you write these off, consider carefully how far you could go in maintaining a peaceful marriage if you implement just one of them on a regular basis.
Take a hot bath or shower.
This first idea may not seem to be anything earth shattering. What we're trying to accomplish here is to remove you from the scene of the crime before it happens. By that I mean that you could choose to withdraw from an argument or conflict before you say or do something hurtful to your spouse.
When you jump in the shower or take a hot bath, you've not only removed yourself from the situation, but you are giving yourself the gift of relaxation after an otherwise stressful or anxiety-inducing interaction with your spouse. You will then be able to let your anger simmer down so that you can think clearly and decide what to do or think next.
Blow off steam by working out.
A step removed from the shower idea is to leave the house entirely. Don't do it in a huff, by slamming doors or going off half-cocked, simply gather your things and head to the gym for a workout.
Whether you spend 20 minutes on the treadmill or an hour pumping weights, you'll be able to channel your anger or frustration into something productive: working out. This will likely cause your negative emotions to dissipate and putting you in a better frame of mind for when you see your spouse again at home.
Talk to a friend you can trust for feedback or insight.
If you're really bothered by what happened between you and your spouse, and you don't feel like a hot bath or going to the gym, get out of the house to meet a friend. Or at least go someplace where you can't be bothered and call someone you can trust on the phone.
Hopefully that friend is someone special who can just listen, and hear your heart. Perhaps you want to get their feedback or insight or see what they would do in this situation if your friend was in your place.
Part of the solution is to simply get yourself into a calmer state of mind so you can think more clearly and become a better communicator. Remember, you spouse is not your enemy.
Stressed out by your marriage? Discover the secrets to getting your marriage back on track with my proven step-by-step system at http://www.stepstosavemymarriage.net. Download your free course today - where you'll find the secret proven plan for fixing your marriage - and put your anxiety behind you.
No comments:
Post a Comment